Men, Women, and Money

Men, women, and money what a statement. God has made man and woman very differently. Each one has his/her own strengths and weaknesses. Neither one sees money in the same way. God made the man to be the protector and the provider of the family. He made the woman to be the nurturer of the family. I am not saying that women should not work or that men should be the only ones to work. All I am saying is that God created each one of differently.

It is because of this difference that we deal with money differently. Women have a greater need for security. Women feel more comfortable when they have a little something set aside to protect them – an Emergency Fund. Men want to protect their families, so when they have their O-Line (Emergency Fund) in place, they know they “got this.” Each one of us is responding the way God wired us. We all want to have our needs met. However, we go about it differently. Men hunt and gather. Women grow and harvest.

As Darryl Frierson says:

Most men grow-up being taught to be a protector and provider for the women in his family. Society projects to him that a “man” takes care of the woman in his life (financially). Also, the darker side of the game is that through survival of the fittest of viewing most men have seen that the more financial stable you are, the more women will want you. Men learn at an early age that with most women, personality really doesn’t get you as far as the proverbial money, power, and respect. The male ego can be the strongest part of a man’s soul and the most fragile at the same time. A man’s ego is tied to the majority of the things he does in life. If a man does not feel as if he is being, a part of him will feel incomplete. A man feels at his highest point of who, when he is able to create and make things around him a reality. Any man wants to the best for his lady because he thrives on it. A man is the utter reflection of the woman he is with (and if he has a family, his ability to provide and protect them) and if he isn’t taking her to another level, then what does that say about him as a man?

In addition, each individual has their own preconceptions about money. They bring these ideas into their marriages. Sometimes, these ideas are the complete opposite of each other. When this happens, then the money wars begin. Each of you needs to find out how the other feels about money before the gloves come off and you head off to divorce court.

Fights about money can be prevented when you understand where the other person is coming from. Remember, opposites attract. The late Larry Burkett once said, “Opposites attract. If two people just alike get married, one of you is unnecessary!”

Our differences is what make us a balanced couple. You offset each other, hopefully in a positive way. One of you might be the one who has a charge type attitude. You see something and you go for it without stopping to consider the consequences. The other of you might be the pensive type. You stop to think about it, weighing all the consequences before taking the plunge. Sometimes, you mull it over so long that you overthink and become paralyzed by the consequences of the decision. However, when the two of you work together, you keep each other in balance. The pensive one will stop the “charge” from making a hasty decision. You both stop and weigh the consequences together and come to the right decision when you consult one another. You cannot and should not bully the other person into making the decision that you want. Consider their position and weigh it equally with yours. Together, you will come to the correct decision.

Dave Ramsey says this about marriage and couples,

[D}ifferences also add a lot of fun and spice to a healthy marriage—as long as you agree on the important stuff. Marriage counselors tell us that couples who can agree on four major issues have a much higher probability of a successful marriage. Those four things are religion (shared household faith), in-laws (boundaries, influence, etc.), parenting, and money. If you keep these four pillars standing strong in your marriage, you’ll have a leg up on most of the couples you know.

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